Seth, The Big Brother

So I always post these pictures of Seth kissing, hugging or just giving something to Molly. I really don't encourage this, ask him to do this or anything like that. He just does it. He asks for her when he gets up and he watches her while she sleeps. He is just so funny.

With that as my preface:

This morning, Seth awoke before Molly. When Molly woke up, I told Seth I had to go get her ready for the day and would be upstairs. Soon after, I hear Seth pounding up the stairs. He comes into the room and asks for Molly. She was still quietly lying in bed and that's what I told him. He motioned to the bed so I picked him up to show him where she was. He wanted to get in the bed so I let him.

I moved Molly a little to one side and let Seth play. I hear him turn her glowworm on, and I hear him talking to her. Nothing new or crazy. I look in and he is lying next to her and talking to her and she is intently watching him.

He then stands up and sees a book on the floor and asks for it. I give it to him and he says to me "I read to Molly" in his little Seth voice. This is the VERY FIRST SENTENCE I have ever heard Seth speak and readily understood it. I about fell over! It was just so cute. I wish that I had grabbed my camcorder instead of my camera, but I still got some cute pictures of the two of them! I think that Molly couldn't ask for a better big brother!

A Molly Update

First of all, I apologize for not getting an update on Molly up sooner. We got to come home on Friday afternoon and things were a little rough getting settled back in at home. It was almost like bringing a newborn home for the first time again. Lots of crying, little sleep, and lots of learning all new techniques. So here's how our weekend progressed...

On Thursday evening, we saw OT again and learned some massage techniques to help soothe Molly and hopefully get her nervous system jump started. She's very touchy and there are so many things that startle her or make her upset. They say it's because her nervous system is so new that we just have to train it to accept these things without freaking out! Friday morning, Dr Wolf arrived and loved what he was seeing. He was definately convinced that we were making progress. We had the formula down, we had the feeding down, and we were already scheduled for out-patient OT to start on Tuesday. OT came in one more time and she was again impressed with what she was seeing. Molly has her own exercises we have to do (i.e. sit-ups and ab crunches...) and she was already showing improvement in her abdomnial strength. So once they left, we were set free!

We came home only to have to master all the new sounds and lights of our house. That made the weekend a little rough. Seth wanted mom and only mom and Molly just cried all weekend. She was fine in the night and slept in her own bed! I couldn't ask for anything more in that department. Now both my babies begin their nocturnal slumber in their own beds. By Sunday evening, my parents had left and my best friend was with me for the evening. It was a rough evening to begin end because Molly was very needy BUT we got through it and actually survived the night!

Molly had her follow-up appointment today and she was up to 8 lbs 3.2 oz (from 7lbs 15.07 oz on Friday @ 2am)!! YAY! We are definately on the right track. She had her first outfit that DIDN'T fit her today, of course it was an "up to 7lbs" onsie but I'll take it! She is doing wonderful. We have fallen back into our "routine" and Seth is having a WONDERFUL Monday night. So all is well as I right this!

To those of you that have offered to bring meals...thank you so much! I would absolutely appreciate that. I can only imagine that Seth is tired of hot dogs and grilled cheese! I never thought I would NEED something like that, but at this point, I really do need my friends and family! Last week, I really felt like my spirit was broken. I really felt like maybe I couldn't do this after all. The weekend came and Molly seemed so unhappy and I just couldn't get to feeling like myself again. But we are turning that corner and things seem to be getting better. Hopefully when First Steps comes in we will make even more progress! Thank you all so much for everything that you have given to us, be it prayers, words of encouragement or meals! I can't thank you enough and tell you how it has helped me to get through this. Now...on to MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!

Seth really is a happy boy I swear!

Molly dreaming!

I'm 4 weeks old today!! 8lbs 3.2 oz!

Molly's OT Consult

This morning when Dr Wolf came in to see Molly he said she looked great! YAY! She had gained 70 grams in 24 hours and we seemed to have turned that corner. The last hurdle we had was to get an OT (occupational therapy) consult and get their OK to be able to go home. Boy, I was so excited! I started packing up and getting ready to leave and I was super happy that I would get to spend the evening with Seth Daniel! My day was looking bright.

Then OT came. :) They ran just a little later than we had anticipated because the consultant works evenings on Thursdays so she was finally here for Molly's 3pm feed. She did an assessment of Molly and then wanted to watch me feed her. Molly's assessment went relatively well. She said that because Molly was born two weeks early, she was going to consider her an almost 2 week old instead of a 1 month old. Based on that, she stated our best case scenario is Molly is developmentally ahead of the game. Our worst case scenario is Molly is right on track.

She then wanted to watch me feed Molly. Talk about feeling like you as a mother are being scrutinized! But that's what we did. And Molly showed her colors at that point. She struggled with her feed. She would fuss, cry and shake her arms. She curled into a fetal position and pushed the nipple from her mouth. All these things started to concern the OT gal. She started asking more and more questions and the more she talked the more things started to unravel. We realized that Molly may have a sensory issue. She may get overstimulated at times which is interrupting her feeding. AND she seems to still struggle with actually taking a bottle. This hasn't gotten to the point that we have to find other ways to feed her by any means, just that we have to find ways to help her learn to take a bottle more effectively.

So, right now the OT gal wants to watch a couple more feedings and to be here to teach us some massage techniques and other things that I can't remember right now because my head is swimming and my heart is hurting. I was oober excited to go home and be with my son for an evening but we are gonna have to be away one more night. I am excited to learn different ways to help Molly feel comfortable and in control of herself. It was recommended that we swaddle her with each feed as that helps her to gain control and be "organized" as the OT gal put it. We are going to have therapists come to the house and watch her feed every week or every other week. They are going to help us learn new techniques and to help identify items in the house that might be over stimulating (ie our DOGS! :) ). We are also being scheduled to be seen in the out patient peds clinic until First Steps starts coming to the house.

WOW...this just seems like so much for a little 3 week old that isn't eating up to par! But whatever works to make life great for all of us is absolutely what we'll be doing. I am super thankful for my family and all my friends and all the thoughts and prayers being said for us. I really can't thank all of you enough for being there and just letting me know you are thinking about my family. It definitely helps to keep me strong! THANKS SO MUCH!

Molly all snug as a bug and swaddle after a relatively successful feed with the OT gal.

Molly's Hospitalization

I know there are many of you out there thinking about us and praying for us, so I want to actually give some information on what's happening with Molly.

On Tuesday, Molly had an appointment with Dr Joe to just have her weight check. At her 2 week appointment, Dr Joe noticed that, while she was gaining weight, it wasn't as fast as was to be expected. So we returned and after a small debacle with the scale, Dr Joe was summoned to come talk to us. He came in, carefully checked Molly over and started the conversation with me. He stated that Molly had gain less that 2oz over the 7 day period and we should have seen somewhere around an ounce per day. He had two options: he trusted to send me home with Molly and work extra hard to get the calories into her and see us again in 2 days or we admit her to be followed in the hospital. The admission would include dietary consults, lab work and I/Os to evaluate Molly and ensure there was nothing PHYSICALLY wrong with her. I stated that I wanted what was best and he said hospitalization was the best. The terror in my eyes must have shown, because as he sent me out with our orders, he stated that it would be OK and that some little ones just need that jump start.

So off we went to St Francis South with our "Failure to Thrive" diagnosis and no real idea of how long we may be here. On Tuesday, Molly was evaluated by everyone that walked by and lots of questions were asked. We went over everything all over again with everyone and finally things settled down and we settled in for the day. Around 2pm Molly was taken to the treatment room to have blood drawn from her beautiful little scalp. She had to be poked twice to get the required blood but she was a trooper. She did wonderful. The first day we were here, we spent the day ensuring that Molly ate EVERY 3 HOURS without exception and we tried our best to get her 3 oz. THAT has been easier said than done. She just doesn't have the belly to do it. Our sweet sweet dietitian came to speak with us around 4 and went over all our options and the different ways we could fortify her formula if needed.

By Wednesday morning, she had gained no weight at all and Dr Wolf (Dr Joe's partner) had done his evaluation and decided it was time to change her formula to a 22cal formula (regular is 20cal). She was switched to that and she just hasn't been able to keep her feeds down. She hasn't been able to take even close to 3 ounces (2oz has sometimes tested her little belly) and 95% of the time she vomits lots of this back up. By evening, Molly was showing signs of having lots of bowel discomfort (gas mostly I think) and I asked for some Mylicon drops. Our nurse, Lindsey, called Dr Wolf and spoke to him about it and we were given the OK to give the drops. She must have given him lots more info about our day because when she came back in she stated that he wanted to change the formula again. Now we are back to the Gentlease formula and they are going to mix it to 22 cal and we are going to try our first feed of that around 11:30pm.

Seth seems to be tolerating all this OK. I picked him up from school on Tuesday to let him know what was going on and took him home to Gamma KP and they had a good night. My mom has been staying with him at night. She said he woke up this morning, asked for Ice Age (his fave movie right now) and then asked for Sissy. He always kisses or hugs her in the morning so he was missing his morning lovin'. Today we kept him home and took him to our library to see a fire truck and to play. I went with him and took him to lunch. I came back home in the evening to have dinner with him and to go through his bedtime routine with him. I am trying to make sure I spend time with him so he doesn't feel neglected. It's so super hard though. When I am with Molly all I think about is Seth and I feel guilty for not being with him. But when I am with him, I stress over Molly and her feeds and I feel guilty for not being at the hospital. My goal is to ensure that I am always at the hospital for Molly's rounding doctors and for the dietitian. I am going to try to make sure I am with Seth for bedtime routine and any other time I may be able to get away. It's a good thing I have great family here helping me or this would be terrible!

Lots of information there but I know many of you would like to be kept updated about Molly. I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers and I will try to post a little something everyday to make sure those of you who want to know get the information.

Molly's Birth Story

OK, so I know this is a little late in posting but it seems as though I have some time on my hands right now! So, I am going to catch up on some blogging.

On Sunday, August 23 I went to work as scheduled. I was tired and wore out and waddling like no other! I had a craving for buffalo hot wings so we put in an order and the day went on fairly normally. Went home to my son and went on about our evening. Got to bed around 10 that night and woke up around 1am for an unknown reason. After lying in bed for a while I realized my back was sore. This wasn't really anything new to me, after all I was 38 weeks pregnant and could hardly change positions in my sleep to begin with! After about an hour, Seth woke up so I got him, brought him back to my bed and snuggled with him.

Somewhere around 3am I realized that every time I finally started to doze off SOMETHING was waking me back up. So I sat for a few minutes only to start feeling the muscle spasms in my back. They were consistent and coming frequently so I got up and started down the stairs to time the beasties. They were coming every 2 to 4 minutes! GREAT! It's 3:30am and I am in active labor. So I start my phone calls: my mom, MIL and my MD. We made it to the hospital around five after 5 and were immediately taken back to triage. I had to have an ultrasound there because we still weren't convinced that Molly was head down. She was and I was checked and at 6cm already. I was begging for pain medicine and they rushed me out of that room to labor and delivery.

By 6:30am I finally had my epidural. Thank you anesthesiologist! I was checked a second time and had progressed to 9cm. The nurse started running around to prepare things (no one really had time to get anything together, it was just going so fast!) and my physician came in to check things out. He had to get a change of clothes so he left again and I started to get VERY uncomfortable. Little did I know that was the whole "I NEED TO PUSH!!" feeling. Had I realized that and pushed...it wouldn't have been good. My doctor came back by 7:50 and broke my water. There was meconium. So again the NICU team was called in for my delivery. I pushed once and looked down to see Molly's head crowning, I pushed again and Molly was completely out! She came SO FAST! She was given to the NICU team and was given beautiful stats. I, on the other hand, needed some work. After 45 minutes of repair work (when babies come that fast, your body just isn't ready!), I was finally able to sit up and hold my new bundle! She was amazing to look at! I just can't wait to do it all again!!